please don’t tell them how someone somewhere has it worse than them,nobody wants to hear that shit…seriously . the biggest part of building someone up is being there to listen …don’t strip away their vulnerability by making it about someone else .
iight check it out, im finna give you the full list right now
Kiss: $30 per minute
(plus an additional $20 if you want some tongue)
Cuddling session: $50
(half price if customer provides netflix access)
Heavy Petting: $100
(includes touching of both parties, and a free 2 minute makeout session)
Perform Fellatio: $250
($100 off if you swallow my offspring)
ON SALE NOW
(plus $25 for face-sitting privileges)
(plus $30 to get eaten from the back)
Sex: $1 per second ($60 per minute) OR $250 for a five minute session
(plus $35 for every different position)
(plus $45 for strange positions)
(plus $75 if you want me to hit it raw) (must be on birth control and must perform a sexual background check. we are not held responsible for accidental pregnancies, and lawful action will be applied for the spread of STD’s. use at your own risk)
(plus $100 for anal. must bring your own lube)
charged $45 if i have to drive to your house.
plus $10 for ‘talking dirty’ privileges
plus $5 per ass smack
$100 taken off of any of the actions listed above if you make me climax
plus $100 if customer climaxes
acts not listed above are negotiated face-to-face
Premium members are granted a $750/week subscription to any of the options listed above, PLUS a free date per month to a location of their choosing. (gas money charges still apply)
different locations for the acts are available free of charge (Iimited time only). if the sexual acts are interrupted or cancelled mid-way through, the customer will still be charged full price. (negotiable if shown wonderful customer hospitality)
taxes will be applied
we are not held responsible for bruises, stiff muscles, bite marks, weak legs, angry boyfriends/parents, prolonged slumber, soreness, or stains of any kind. we respect your choice in choosing our 5 star service, and hope to hear from you soon
I can’t stop…can’t stop
Don with you forever
He got the prices on point tho.
But… do you take coupons?
yes. coupons are rewarded to our customers with their receipt
LMAOOOOOO !!!! He real life.made a coupon
1. I never implied gov’t spying was new to Obama. But this NSA shitstorm erupted under Obama’s administration, and when the shit hit the fan he didn’t say “oh, my bad we’ll stop the program”. He defended it and said “well technically we’re not breaking any laws… so….”. Obama’s response to the gross negligence of the NSA and American rights violations has been disgraceful.
2. You mean those efficient drones that literally blew up a wedding last month?
You really need to examine how much damage tragedies like that do to our country. How many enemies did we create just from that one blunder? Let alone all the shit that takes place and gets swept under the rug.
At what point are we creating more enemies that we’re killing?
You see how much white Americans hate muslims just from one terrorist attack in 2001. Imagine how many people in the middle east hate America from the zillion air strikes and fucked up shit we’ve been doing over there for over a decade?